Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize