Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
