3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
