I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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