Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize