you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This house was built for laser tag.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
