ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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