Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
