just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You are a genius and a whore.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
