hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Floor bacon is actually really good
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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