That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
