Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
