i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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