she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
