I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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