Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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