i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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