this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
