we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize