pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
