This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
