I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
