Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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