Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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