Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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