there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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