whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
