I didn't shave. On purpose
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
