Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
