he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
did you just send me my own nude
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
