so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
