He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
