Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I am available for nakedness
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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