Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
