i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
