you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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