so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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