Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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