Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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