the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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