i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
