You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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