We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am naked and annoyed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
