I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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