The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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