Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
