Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize