Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
