You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
