What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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