How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
