She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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