hell yes lets make some ravioli
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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