also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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