so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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