Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I came so hard my ears popped.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
