i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize