Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
