It's Friday. Sex?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
