we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
