So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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