so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
