Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
